Hillbilly Helpdesk 2: "The Nephew Strikes Back"

So I always bitch, rant, and moan about stupid users, then a friend of mine shed some light.
He said "Dude, blame it on Bill Gates. " I listened to my friend. He is one of those "back in my day" computer guys. He proceeded to explain his claim. "Back in my day computers were for geeks only. Then Bill Gates, in his infinite wisdom, opened up computer use to damn near everyone. See think of it like this, you have to have a license to drive a car right? Why would you let a regular Joe or Jackass, for that matter, get behind the wheel of something he has no clue how to operate?" My wise friend had a point. The whole conversation about this started with a chat about last nights events.
Remember my idiot nephew from my February 2008 post? Well damn...he called me again last night.

Me: Hello?
Nephew: Hay mayun, wut er yew doin?
Me: Sitting down to eat dinner. What's up?
Nephew: Whale mayun, I fuct up my compewter dewd.
Me: Ok, well what happened?
Nephew: Whale, my compewter was runnin slow. So I got in der and sent some shit to da recylin bin.
Me: *Oh Fuck* Um, dude, what did you put in there.
Nephew: Whale, I looked at stuff I don't use lyke, net log file, and somethin called a system32. Hail mayun, I never yewsed dat beefer.

Ok so here is where I think this is the classic dumbass IT joke we all hear: "Hey man I had an idiot user delete his system 32 file. huh huh huh." No this idiot actually did it. Hell it gets better.

Me: Well man you are going to have to re-install windows. Just put your Windows CD in, turn off the computer, hold F12 while turning the computer back and tell it to boot from the CD and just follow the instructions.
Nephew: Ok, wut cee dee is dat again? I have one that says backup. Hell right now I have my Norton disk in der right now. I thought that might fix it. If I could just get in dat recycln bin I could put the files back.
Me: No dude you don't get it. You have killed some important files. You have no operating system right now.
Nephew: Ok
Me: Dude what version of Windows is it?
Nephew: It was Windows 98
Me: Shit! Seriously? 98? Wait, earler you said it was running slow right?
Nephew: Yeah
Me: And, didn't I hear you say you had a Norton disk in there?
Nephew: Yeah
Me: What version?
Nephew: 2008
Me: *Christ* Dude...you are running a 2008 edition of anti virus software on a PC that is 10 years old or more. Where the hell did you get that software?
Nephew: From a friend

Now I know the shit was pirated.

Me: Ok that was your issue to begin with. You can't run current software on a machine that old. The machine wasn't designed to use it. But that is beside the fact. Lets look at your Windows restore disks, have you got them?
Nephew: Well I have a disk that says backup and drivers.
Me: That might be it, any other disks?
Nephew: Naw, this is wut my Mom gave me when she gave me this thang. She said it was awwwl the disks fer it.
Me: Ok, is the anything that says Windows 98 restore disks?
Nephew: Naw
Me: Hmm, maybe that's it then. Put it in there and hold F12 when turning it back on tell the computer to boot from cd then, tell me what it says.
Nephew: Wait uh minit. Ok, Non system disk error
Me: Ok then that obviouosly isn't the disk.
Nephew: Well the ink is smudged.
Me: Wait, what ink is smudged?
Nephew: The writing on the disk, it's smudged.
Me: Dude, what kind of disk is it?
Nephew: It says "Memorex"
Me: *Fucking hell* Ok man, that is not a system restore disk.
Nephew: Well it says back up and drivers on it.
Me: Dude you need a Windows 98 restore disk. I have a friend that runs a small PC repair shop in town, give him a call he might have a disk or can restore for you.
Nephew: Hail mayun, I'd throw the sum bitch out the winder for I pay somebody to fix it fer me.
Me: Fine throw the mother fucker out of the window then. And NEVER BUY A FUCKING COMPUTER AGAIN.
*Click*